Essence Atkins is still thriving. The 52-year-old actress, who started her career as a teenager, is presently one of the stars of the new CBS comedy Papa’s House alongside legendary comedian Damon Wayans and his son, Damon Wayans Jr. On the sitcom, she plays a therapist named Ivy Reid, the new co-host for the senior Wayans character’s radio show, injecting femininity and emotion into his machismo-filled program. While her character butts heads with his Archie Bunker, Fred G. Sanford-esque character of Poppa off-camera, it’s a love fest for Atkins and the cast. She’s been a part of the Wayans’s inner circle since the ’90s and has become a mainstay in their projects, from Dance Flick to the Haunted House franchise and the past NBC sitcom Marlon.
“The thing that I think makes Poppa’s House a unique experience is seeing these two men who are really father and son, really love each other. And you get to feel that,” she says. “I feel that on set. And I think it’s one of the things that audiences are latching onto as viewers. Yes, the show is funny, but you can feel the heart of these people and how much they really, truly love each other.”
It’s also a treat for the starlet because the show is filmed in Los Angeles, where she and her son call home. After years spent flying to Atlanta to work, the single mom appreciates that she’s in a place where she can better balance her career and motherhood. “I am so thankful that I get to be here as he’s becoming a teenager, and he still wants me around,” [laughs]” she shares, laughing. “For now! He still loves checking in with me, talking to me, telling me about his day, and asking me about my day and cuddle time. So I’m soaking it in. I’m soaking it all up.”
Amid that, being a single working mom, Atkins also finds time to care for herself. That can include everything from an evening at the movies to enjoying her weekly tennis lesson (“I’m not any good”) and even taking a solo vacation to Mexico, specifically Zihuatanejo. “I went there because my favorite movie is Shawshank Redemption. And that’s where Red and Andy go at the end of the movie.” The down-to-earth beauty is doing it all, and more, with the help of her faith, a healthy lifestyle, and as we quickly learned through a laugh-filled conversation over Zoom, a killer sense of humor.
ESSENCE: I have to know, first and foremost, are you or are you not…the 11th Wayans’ sibling? Because y’all are thick as thieves at this point. [Laughs] You’ve been in all their movies and shows. I have to know, what is it about you guys and the bond you share that brings you together for projects so often?
Essence Atkins: I definitely feel like I’ve been baptized a Wayans at this point, that’s for sure. But I think the commonality or the thing that keeps us continuing to work together is how we show up. We show up with great respect. We show up with great love. We show up with great spirits of humility and collaboration and the spirit of wanting to have fun, tell a great story, and make each other laugh. And I think, at this point, we trust each other.
I’ve known them—next year will be 30 years since I first met Marlon, Shawn and Kim. I worked on The Wayans Brothers show in 1995. I played Shawn’s love interest, and then the next time I worked with them was on Dance Flick, which was [Damon Wayans Jr.’s] first movie and he had to screen test for that. I mean, one of the things that people don’t necessarily know is that yes, they operate with a nepotism unapologetically. If a Wayans is working, there’s going to be more than one working. That’s just what it is. But at the same time, there is a process, a vetting, and a respect that you learn in getting invited into this industry. Junior’s daughter is my stand-in. She’s a very talented actress, but she’s learning all aspects of what it is to be an actor on a television show. And so she’s working as my stand-in, and she still auditions and she still contributes when we talk about jokes and what’s working. So she’s invited to participate, but she’s learning the craft from the ground up and that is how they do things in that family. You learn, you are in the writer’s room, whatever area, whatever arena you’re interested in when it comes to entertainment, you’re going to learn from the ground up.
Papa’s House is partially about this father-son connection. Speaking of parenting, how are you balancing filming this show with raising your own son as a single mom? I know he’ll be a teenager soon.
I am grateful. Another reason why Papa’s House is such a blessing for me is that it’s here in Los Angeles. After Marlon ended, I did Ambitions in Atlanta. We shot that in Atlanta for OWN, and then I did First Wives Club. I did a recurring role on that for two seasons, and that was also in Atlanta. And then I did the Coins movies for TV One, and those were in Atlanta. So there’s been a lot of work in Atlanta, and having the opportunity to go to work, come home, sleep in my own bed, and see my son without getting on a plane is a wonderful blessing that I don’t take for granted. It really is an answered prayer. I’ve been praying for five years since Marlon ended because when we shot Marlon, that was here at Universal for NBC, so I got to be home.
And there was a span of five years where every time I worked, I was leaving. And that was very difficult for my son and me. And though he understands that mommy is not choosing anything or anyone outside of him, he still was having a difficult time just being away from me and even coming back and forth. At the most, I was gone no more than two weeks without flying back to see him. But it was still challenging for both of us, and COVID-19 was happening. So it was a lot. So, lifestyle-wise, in terms of what it means to get to take off the actress hat, entrepreneur hat, and boss hat and become mommy, it means everything. It’s the greatest gift.
You just mentioned your faith. How integral is it in the work you do within Hollywood? Sometimes, people look at faith as something over here, and the industry and all its color and controversy are over there. They aren’t combined. But you are a proud woman of faith and veteran actress.
It’s been a process. I’ve been a believer. I didn’t come to know Christ until I was in my early twenties. And it’s been a journey. I haven’t been as strong and centered as I am all these years later. There’s been a growth, just like with anything else in practice, hopefully there is elevation, greater roots and greater understanding. I didn’t always have them so integrated. They used to kind of be separate as you talk about, it’s like my faith is over here and my work is over here. And now I think that I probably, my son says I am a bit of a Jesus freak. I tell him, I try to bring the Lord into everything that I do, and not necessarily in a way that’s preaching or even proclaiming verbally, but I just try to bring the spirit, the fruits of the spirit with me. And I hope that that resonates. And if I have the opportunity to talk about it, then I will, or if the Holy Spirit prompts me to, I will, but I think that it’s a greater testimony to live my faith than to preach my faith. I think it’s better to have it be evidenced in how I show up and how I treat people and how I conduct myself in the love and respect and kindness and curiosity that I show up with in the world rather than to just quote scripture. I can do that as well. But I think people are much more curious about and receptive to God’s messaging and God’s ways if I’m actually living a life that has congruence.
When you have downtime for yourself, what do you enjoy partaking in?
To a certain extent, I’m simple. I’m still a moviegoer. I still like to go to the movies, sit in the dark, and consume popcorn. I’m just chomping at the bit for Gladiator, which is getting ready to come out. I’m super excited. And my son and I want to see Moana too. We’re very excited about those things. So I’m still that girl. But I started taking tennis lessons a little over a year ago. I always wanted to learn how to play. I didn’t know anything about the game. I was just curious about it. And I found that it is so challenging and so much fun. It really is. My pleasure is my weekly tennis lesson. Let me just tell you I’m not good at it. But I love learning something just for the sake of learning it. It’s not because of a role. It’s not because I’m trying to be in the U.S. Open. It really is just wanting to learn something and challenge myself at 52 to learn something different and new and to physically challenge myself because it is difficult in terms of being able to volley and get to the ball and serve and all of those things. So I’m really enjoying that. And then there’s the luxury side of me that loves to get on a plane. I love to travel and go see things and have experiences. And my other guilty pleasure is live music. I just saw Marc Anthony in Brooklyn. I think I probably danced for a full two hours. I don’t think I ever sat down. So I love live music, period.
And do you enjoy hitting the dating scene these days? If so, what are you looking for?
I don’t really get asked out often, but when I do, I’m happy to go. I love talking to people. I’m curious about people and what motivates them and what moves them. The thing that I’m looking for, I mean, let’s be clear, I want to get married again. So I’m not really dating just for companionship. I’m dating with an intention. And so I feel like if I don’t feel like there’s something that could lead to real lifelong partnership, I don’t really want to waste anyone’s time. So I’m very clear about that. Which I don’t know, maybe it makes me less appealing in terms of dating because I think some people just want to date just to have fun and all of that. But I have an amazing, wonderful, full life, and I have an amazing, wonderful village and people that I can do things with and travel with and laugh with. And so yeah, for me, I’m very clear about what it is I’m looking for, and I think I’m very clear when I date that that’s what I’m looking for. So it may not be that attractive to the average person. I don’t know.
Well, plenty of people aren’t getting asked out all the time. Everybody’s on the apps, so that’s not a marker of, I don’t know if what I’m doing is or isn’t working. I know many people who are just like, it’s hard to meet people out in the world now. They’re just utilizing these different resources. But I’m sure that what you’re looking for is coming your way soon.
Amen. No, I believe it too. Sometimes I get a little impatient, like, okay, Jesus, this is taking way longer than I thought it was going to. But at the same time, I know that I’m not seeking a seat filler. I’m not just looking for somebody to spend time with because I actually enjoy my own company. I can vacation by myself. I have a lot of options when it comes to being able to design my day or my time the way that I want to. I also have a job that I really, really love, and I don’t feel like I need to escape from my life. It feels very pleasant and joyful. So in order for me to take time from that to spend time with someone, there’s got to be some sort of real blessing in it.
I know you mentioned recently that you’re celibate, which a lot of people, more and more, are practicing and getting into. What has been the blessing of doing that?
I feel like not having a bunch of entanglements really does give you a clarity and it helps you to really be able to see people. I’m no longer middle-aged; I need and want someone with whom I’m really friends. And so that becomes the paramount barometer for spending time together rather than intimacy. And so what I’m cultivating as I get to know people is a friendship. And either that friendship develops into something eventually or I just remain connected to someone. And there’s a really pleasant experience for both of us, whether we went out on one date or we went out on five dates. It was still a pleasant experience. And there’s not all of this sadness and hurt feelings and this loss. I don’t feel like anything is being taken from me because I’m not giving myself to anyone. I feel like I’m having experiences and exchanges rather than being depleted.
You’ve always been beautiful, inside and out. I wanted to know what is the key to maintaining that youthfulness and that glow that kind of shines from within, out.
I do things in moderation and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more intentional about taking care of myself. I’ve kind of stripped away eating a lot of meat. I still do eat meat, but I don’t eat it often. I lean much more towards pescatarian. I don’t really drink soda. I don’t really drink juice. I drink water or I allow myself one cup of coffee a day, maybe two max. I drink a lot of tea. I try to get sunshine, I try to hike. And as I mentioned, I play tennis, and I work out. So I am definitely intentional about taking care of my temple, but I also think that part of what I have been able to capitalize on is the good genetics that my parents gave me. But I’m also walking through life with an intention of being peaceful and creating an environment around me that isn’t chaotic.
I think that having an identity that again is aligned with Christ and moving and attempting to really walk out the fruits of the spirit does create a shalom, does create peace. And I think that that is visible. I know that I’m older, I see myself getting older, but I also see myself getting better. And I don’t think that it’s an external thing. I feel like it’s happening from the inside out. I think when people talk about a youthfulness or a buoyancy or an attractiveness or a radiance in me, they’re seeing spirit coming out of me. At least I hope so. That’s my goal. I try not to be too fixated. Yes, I want to take care of myself because I don’t want to be a burden on my son. I have a young son, he’s turning 13, I’m 52. I don’t want in five, 10 years for him to be burdened with having to be a caretaker for me if I can help it. So that’s also part of the motivation of doing the things that I believe are going to take care of my body and my temple and my mind as well. But I do think that really being very specific and having the goal of wanting to create peace and to walk that out in every exchange is doing something internal that people are seeing.